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Daily Dabble: Blow My High — The Songs That Kill a Vibe Faster Than a Burnt Pizza Roll

Daily Dabble: Blow My High — The Songs That Kill a Vibe Faster Than a Burnt Pizza Roll


You ever be riding the perfect high — snacks within arm’s reach, playlist dialed in, Kushie snoozing like a furry little zen master — and then out of nowhere… it happens. The betrayal. The sabotage. The moment your Spotify decides to play the one song in existence designed to murder a vibe in cold blood. That’s what this Dabble is about. Not the highs we chase. Not the snacks that save us. But the cursed tracks — the unholy anthems — that creep into the room like musical narcs and leave you sitting there wondering if God ever really loved you. I call them: Mood Killers.Let’s roast them. One by one.

1. “Who Let the Dogs Out” – Baha Men (2000)

When you’re sober, this song is kinda fun. A goofy little barking chant. But when you’re high? Brother, it feels less like a jam and more like an unsolved mystery. Who let them out? Why? Are they safe? Did they have collars? Suddenly I’m imagining a canine prison break with dogs tunneling under a fence like Shawshank Redemption but with kibble. Meanwhile, the room is echoing with “woof, woof, woof, woof, woof.” Everyone starts barking along — half-ironically, half because they’re stoned enough to think it’s funny. Now I’m sitting there paranoid that my own dog is giving me side-eye for enabling this nonsense. Mood? Murdered.

2. “Macarena” – Los Del Río (1993)

If you’re high and this song sneaks into the mix, you will experience a specific type of despair: the “infinite loop of humiliation” despair.The beat kicks in and suddenly everyone in the room forgets how to dance like normal humans. They all start doing that arm-flap-hand-clap thing like malfunctioning robots at a Walmart. Nobody remembers the full sequence. Someone inevitably goes too hard, elbows the nachos, and the guac hits the floor. And here’s the kicker: the edible always peaks mid-chorus. By the time they hit “HEY MACARENA, AYYY,” you’re convinced you’re trapped in a time loop, cursed to repeat the same four arm moves until the end of days.


3. “Barbie Girl” – Aqua (1997)

“Barbie Girl” is deceptively sinister when you’re baked. Sober brain thinks, Haha, this is kitschy and fun. But high brain? High brain hears: “You can brush my hair, undress me everywhere.” Excuse me, what? That’s not a vibe, that’s a hostage situation. Suddenly you’re not in your living room anymore — you’re in some plastic nightmare where fleshless, smiling mannequins are asking you to undress them “everywhere.” I didn’t take this gummy to think about Toy Story’s deleted horror scenes, Aqua. I took it to vibe with chips and laughter.


4. “Mambo No. 5” – Lou Bega (1999)

This one’s just… exhausting. Lou starts rattling off names like he’s reading a census form: “A little bit of Monica in my life, a little bit of Erica by my side…” I’m too high to keep track, Lou. Are these your exes? Your bowling team? Why are they all in the same mambo? By the time he gets to Rita and Tina, I’m wondering if I accidentally joined a math word problem. “Mambo No. 5” is basically a roll call with trumpets. I don’t want a roll call, Lou. I want queso.


5. “Baby Shark” – Pinkfong (2016)

No. Just no. There’s a reason this song broke brains worldwide. You’re vibing, chilling, breathing deep, and suddenly: doo doo doo doo doo doo. It’s not just a song. It’s a curse. You could skip it instantly, but the damage is already done. It burrows into your psyche like an earworm parasite. Hours later, days later, you’re walking through Target, mumbling “doo doo doo doo” under your breath. You’re a grown adult in pajama pants, haunted by a children’s bop about sharks. The edible high you had? Obliterated. Replaced with raw shame.

6. “We Like to Party” – Vengaboys (1999)

The bassline hits, and suddenly you’re in a Six Flags commercial. You didn’t ask for this. You were sitting on the couch, halfway into a quesadilla, minding your own mellow. Then BOOM: that squeaky little synth kicks in like a sugar-high toddler on a trampoline. It doesn’t feel like a song. It feels like a seizure dressed as music. Your heart rate triples, your brain screams, “Am I on a rollercoaster? Am I the rollercoaster?” This isn’t a party. This is a crime.

7. “Yakety Sax” (Benny Hill Theme, 1963)

The opening riff is enough to ruin any edible. Suddenly you feel like you’re being chased. You’re not — you’re literally sitting down — but your stoner brain has activated Looney Tunes Mode. You reach for snacks and fumble them. The chips scatter like confetti. Someone tries to pick them up, but it looks like fast-motion slapstick even though they’re moving normally. Everyone is giggling but it’s manic, unhinged giggling, and you’re two seconds from sweating through your hoodie. Never play “Yakety Sax” in a stoner space unless you want chaos.

8. “I’m Too Sexy” – Right Said Fred (1991)

This one creeps in like a curse. First verse: funny. Second verse: deeply unsettling. Because now you’re high and hyper-aware of your body. Suddenly pajama pants feel like lingerie. Your T-shirt feels like a fashion statement. Your dog is staring at you like “Not even close, bro.” By the time the chorus loops for the fifth time, the room’s silent. Nobody’s vibing. Everyone’s just… existing, painfully self-aware, clutching snacks like emotional support objects.

9. “She Bangs” – Ricky Martin (2000)

 (or worse, William Hung’s cover)


This one’s edible kryptonite.

“She bangs, she bangs!” Ricky yells. And high brain starts whispering: Does she, though? Who is she? Why is she banging? Should we be concerned? By the time you hit the bridge, you’ve spiraled into a full existential crisis about love, passion, and possibly plumbing. I once heard the William Hung version while high and spent twenty minutes staring at my own reflection like a man in witness protection.


10. “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” – Tiny Tim (1968)

The nuclear bomb of mood killers. The first ukulele note plinks, and suddenly the air feels haunted. Tiny Tim’s falsetto drifts like a cursed doll singing from a crawl space. Nobody talks. Nobody laughs. The high evaporates. You’re not even sure you ever smoked. You’re just cold and afraid and somehow convinced the tulips are watching you. Every stoner I know agrees: if this song comes on, you skip it immediately or you’ll never be the same.

Tangent: Why Bad Songs Hit Harder When You’re High

Here’s the science (stoner science, anyway): Music doesn’t just play when you’re high. It happens to you. It seeps into your bloodstream, crawls into your brainstem, and sets up shop. So when it’s good? It’s transcendent. You’re floating on frequencies. But when it’s bad? It’s like your edible turned into a gremlin that won’t stop chewing electrical wires in your head. And because stoner time works differently (1 minute = 20), that bad track doesn’t last 3 minutes. It lasts 3 eternities.

Honorable Mentions (AKA Spotify, Don’t You Dare)

  • “Cotton Eye Joe” – Rednex (Did he ever get found? We don’t care.)
  • “Crazy Frog” – Axel F (Haunts my soul like digital tinnitus.)
  • “What Does the Fox Say?” – Ylvis (I don’t want to know.)
  • “The Hamster Dance” – Hampton the Hamster (YouTube PTSD.)


Bud’s Final Puff of Wisdom

The real betrayal isn’t the song itself. It’s how it makes you suddenly aware of your high. A good high is invisible — you’re just there, vibing, like a tortilla wrapped snug around the universe’s burrito filling. But one cursed track and suddenly you’re ripped out of the vibe, staring at your own existence like, “Why am I here, listening to Tiny Tim whisper about tulips while holding nachos?” So here’s the takeaway: curate your playlists like sacred texts. Guard your high like treasure. And if “Tiptoe Through the Tulips” ever comes on, don’t hesitate. Skip it like your soul depends on it. Because it just might.